Please do not tell me that its really unfortunate that I am caught between lifesaving medical intervention and being able to pursue my career. i am acutely aware of how unfortunate it is much more so than you are.
No media about the fact that there’s a All Male, African American High school on the southside of chicago who year after year has a 100% graduating senior class who ALL get accepted to 4 year universities/colleges.
they just want to talk about how whether a person’s death on the southside is gang related or not.
We are speaking about male violence in a way that denies it. It stunts the conversation at the level of female victimization, which in patriarchy is normalized and thereby invisible. When we hear the war, we should ask, what war? Who or what is waging this mysterious war, but we don’t, because the war is on women and nobody gives a damn about women! The war on women then becomes a pesky little issue that women have and therefore need to solve, who cares if it is men who are waging this war, apparently that doesn’t matter. Men waging war against women is just a part of patriarchy.
Not only have men enslaved women, but they have also created a misogynist language that alienates and demeans women every time they read or utter a word of it; a language that works like an eraser, erasing them slowly over time. Sometimes it’s prudent to ask oneself, why is it perfectly OK to include women in the attempt to name the problem, but not men, when it is men who are the problem? Violence against women, domestic violence and the war on women, silently, passively and from obscurity shout about the victimization of women, the dehumanizing of women, the blaming of women for male violence. The language women are forced to use is, like women who must survive in patriarchy, gagged, like a woman who’s had her tongue cut out, trying to scream a soundless scream. Even in an attempt to solve the problem of male violence, women use the passive voice, the voice of the female victim, the female subordinate, the female subservient to talk about male violence. We do this because we don’t really want to solve it if it entails naming men as the problem. This is a symptom of Stockholm’s Syndrome, a well honed defense mechanism, to survive male violence.
It is quite ironic really, women trying to solve a problem without actually naming the problem, but ironic or not this is a symptom of terror. It is a learned survival behavior. By denying that men are the problem, they are able to continue living with them hoping that they can continue to control at least his violence through subservience and femininity and with the false belief that her man will protect her from other men. The passive descriptions, Violence, domestic & the war hang there detached without even a hint or suggestion that there is a hammer, attached to a hand, attached to an arm, attached to a man that is systematically bludgeoning women.
Name the agent. For example it’s “male violence against women”, not just “violence against women”. Most rapes are committed by men, not some phantom or aliens. “A man raped a woman”, not “a woman was raped”, call them out and place the blame where it belongs. Men and boys as both a collective and as individuals benefit from- and uphold the Heteropatriarchy, regardless if they’re active about it, conscious of it or not. Don’t let the boyz guilt trip you about your language, call them out. We’re not fighting phantoms, we’re confronting men as a class and as individuals, and challenging the very institutions and sociocultural “norms” they hold dear, that enable the Heteropatriarchy and male-primacy.